Nearly ten years after Janet Jackson’s famous wardrobe malfunction, the CBS is on high alert concerning nudity. A “Wardrobe Advisory” email the network’s Standards & Practices department sent out to representatives of stars scheduled to perform at Sunday’s 55th Annual Grammy Awards is warning performers to adequately cover their breasts, buttocks, genitals, curves – everything, really. Best line in the memo: “Thong type costumes are problematic.” And most hilarious: “Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.”
Deadline first published the email, which reads:
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare flesh under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic.
Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure.
Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared.
OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, the network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
Basically, if CBS was the ultimate moral authority on earth and had the power to recall time it would bar Pink from performing at the 2010 Grammys (above). It’d eject J. Lo (and then boyfriend Puff Daddy) from the 2000 Grammys. MIA‘s bodacious baby bump (below) would not have been welcome.
I wonder what Toronto-born world renowned pianist Glenn Gould would say. He’s being honoured with a posthumous lifetime achievement award. “What, no wardrobe malfunctions? I’ll pass.”
As you can expect, Twitter went gaga over the pathetic attempt at censorship. American comedian and the Current TV’s Joy Behar had this to say: “Grammys are insisting that no breasts, butts or genitals be exposed during the show. Seriously? I only watch for the wardrobe malfunctions.” She’s not the only celebrity to express her outrage:
— VH1 (@VH1) February 8, 2013
Grammys are insisting that no breasts, butts or genitals be exposed during the show. Seriously? I only watch for the wardrobe malfunctions.
— Joy Behar (@JoyVBehar) February 7, 2013
Wardrobe advisory for Grammy’s aims to regulate & censor female bodies from showing too much skin – like it’s something to be ashamed of.
— Sabrina Bedford (@wordford) February 7, 2013
Thinking of wearing my “This IS my puffy genitalia” T-shirt to the Grammys press room.
— Katie Hasty (@katieaprincess) February 7, 2013
Basically, the Grammy memo is saying just wear your talent.Leave the rest to the imagination.;)#Grammys
— TheTalentlessCook (@TalentlessCook) February 7, 2013
— P!nk (@Pink) February 7, 2013
You know that leaked Grammy Awards Dress Code memo? Turns out, CBS sent the same memo last year wapo.st/126vO4m
— Wash. Post TV Team (@WaPoTeamTV) February 8, 2013
This really is the best corporate memo ever written about, pardon my language, “female breast nipples.” vulture.com/2013/02/cbs-to…
— Linda Holmes (@nprmonkeysee) February 7, 2013
CBS sends memo: Breasts, Buttocks and Genitals are Banned from the Grammy’s. (Isn’t that a challenge to the… fb.me/286wEewme
— PolitiJim (@politiJim) February 6, 2013
The Canadian Progressive recommends:
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- “Slut” is up for redemption
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- The “Life of Pi” Movie Will Probably Rock Your World